Alex and I spent a week in Portland and ever since I've been trying to play catch up.
Lots of homework. Lots of work. Lots of drama. Lots of waiting. Lots of anxiety.
My class is almost over just a few more weeks. I'm worried I wont pass. I'm worried everything is going to come crashing down around me. But just one more assignment and it'll all be done.
Work is work is work. Time for Alex and I to make a change.
And we are waiting for our sign as to what this change will be. I feel as if I'm waiting for judgement, waiting to either go to heaven or to hell.
This is a strange feeling. It seems to be overwhelming at times. I'm trying to deal with it. All on my own. But that makes everything seem worse and that I'm all alone.
I need this month of May to be over with. Maybe then I will know where my life is going. Maybe then I will feel less anxious. Maybe my life will be...
I don't know. I'm hoping better. But if it is worse I'd like to get to that part so that I can deal with it and move on.
Sorry for the ranting. I'm just feeling a bit low and unsure of things.
Things will get better. Everything always does. We humans are quite adaptive.