Best Friends

I have this image in my head of what a "Best Friend" is suppose to be.

Growing up my "Best Friend" was this girl who went to the same church as I did. I got to see her every other weekend, due to the custody arrangements between my father and grandparents. I don't think she thought I was her "Best Friend", but that is neither here nor there at this point in time.

When I got to high school things changed. People actually wanted to be my friend. I was not the weird one out, the one that only begrudgingly got invited to birthday parties. I had lots of people surrounding me all the time.

People actually wanted to be my "Best Friend".

Some could say that Shelly and I were "Best Friends", she told me we were like sisters. Then she would get mad at me for silly things. The first time I got drunk was at her house with her, her older brother, and his friend. Not the brightest idea. Especially since I wrote it all down in my diary and my snooping father read all about it.

We could have been considered "Best Friends" , but I think for Shelly that title goes to someone else.

Sierra and I, we could have take the title of "Best Friends", but there was always something holding me back in this friendship. I felt that I couldn't be who I wanted to be... a reckless teenager. She was too responsible. Which keep me in line a time or two.

During my Sophomore year, I started being friends with this girl who rode the same bus as me. That is when my very first and probably only true "Best Friend" arrived.

Amy...

We were inseparable. Running around the school doing God knows what. Nothing seemed impossible as long as we were together.

And through those few years our friends ship changed and morphed.

But we were always there for each other.

I was content to keep it this way always, but Amy liked to make new friends.

Other people entered into our lives one of them is Stephanie. We were very close at one time. Then she moved away after high school and I didn't reconnect with her until a couple of years ago. She still lives far away, but maybe we can still be close friends.

Another person I meet through Amy and to this day is still one of my closest friends is Kate.

During our Senior year things changed. Amy got herself a boy friend. She wanted to spend all her time with him and not me.

I got myself a new "Best Friend". This rebound Friend only lasted till the end of the year and to this day I cannot remember her name. Isn't that strange?

I made other relationships with others through those years.

Like April and I. To this day I will say she is my current "Best Friend" though we have not seen each other in about 4 years. I know she is there for me. However, she has kids and a husband and a life that does not involve me. I was very sad when she didn't ask me to be her maid of honor for her wedding, but I was still in her wedding so that is all that really matters. Right?

I'm still trying to recapture the feeling of togetherness that Amy and I shared those few short years.

The time I spent with Amy will always stick with me.

For that I will always consider her my "Best Friend". Though we can never go back and change the fact that we grew far apart. I don't think that we can ever be as close as we were, but I keep hoping and wishing. Not that I'm that close with Amy, she is a different person than I, but that I find someone to share my thoughts and aspirations with. Some one to go to lunch or dinner with. Someone who wants to spend time with me as much as I want to spend time with them.

I know I should consider my husband as my "Best Friend", but I still feel that my life is some how not complete without this female, whoever she is, in my life.